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The following post is by MPFJ staff writer Travis. Travis is a customer blogger for CareOne Debt Relief Services, and also appears weekly at Enemy of Debt. Travis candidly shares his personal journey to pay off $109,000 of credit card debt and the tips he's learned along the way. As a father and husband, he provides a unique perspective on balancing debt, finances, and family.
For thirteen years, I hid our mounting credit card debt from my wife. I never denied that we had credit card debt, but I never told her just how much debt we had accumulated. The truth is, I didn't even know the exact number because I was afraid to add it up. Whenever I tried, I just shook my head and stopped adding. After the number got so big, it just didn't seem to matter anymore what the exact number was. It seemed so hopelessly out of control.
Yet I didn't do anything about my debt, besides continuing to increase it, until I absolutely had to.
I've often wondered why I didn't do something about my debt sooner. I used to think it was simply because I was ashamed of my debt. That's certainly part of it, but I now think there's more to it for me, as well as millions of other people struggling with debt:
Afraid to Admit Needing Help
Admitting that I need help is extremely difficult, and that doesn't just apply to my debt situation. Whether it's being overloaded at work, unable to perform a home improvement project, or even doing tasks to keep the household running, asking for help feels like admitting I'm a failure (especially since our culture seems to prize individual success without any help!).
Bankruptcy is considered by many as the last resort debt relief option, and nearly 1.8 million people filed for bankruptcy in 2011 (complete statistics could not be found yet for 2012). That's a lot of people waiting until they have absolutely no other option before getting help.
Not Aware of Options
Speaking of bankruptcy, I had thought that was the only real option for debt relief. Given the negative stigma attached to bankruptcy, people avoid it unless absolutely necessary. I was surprised that there were other options such as debt management (the route we ultimately chose) and debt settlement.
Add Money To the Equation
Try this: Close your eyes and think about what you would consider a successful person. If you are like many people, “Rich” is one of the first things that come to mind.
Whether we want to admit it or not, our society largely equates lots of money with being successful. If you admit that you need help with debt, you admit that you have problems managing the most recognizable status symbol in western civilization.
Why It's Better To Talk About It
I could have never began my journey out of debt if I hadn't swallowed my pride, raised my hand and said, “I need help.” I would have never learned what my options were had I not opened my mouth and asked questions within the online community of my would-be debt relief provider.
For a very long time, I was afraid my friends and family would think less of me because I was in a debt relief program. In all honesty, I still am not 100% comfortable with being completely open about my situation. But, it does make it easier when I remember that everybody I know has a mortgage, a car payment, credit card payments, or even all three.
Am I really all that different from them?
Those that I have told have been nothing but completely supportive. I've learned some of the most useful financial tips and techniques simply by talking with others about money.
It is true that I was forced to admit I needed help when I could no longer make my monthly payments. Many people need something to give them that final “push” to enable them down the path of getting help.
Maybe you're struggling with debt, and you're looking for that push.
Maybe you're struggling with debt, and you're looking for that push.
Talk about it with someone. Reach out for help. You'll be glad you did.
How about you all? Did you have a hard time admitting you needed help with debt? Do you talk to your friends and family about it? How did they react?
